I tried journalling for a week to see if it’s the wellness trend for me
Having tried and tested countless self-care techniques, I thought I’d try my hand at journalling to see if it could help reduce my stress and anxiety levels, and restore my sense of calm. Here’s what happened.
Dear Diary,
I hate journalling.
Hailed as an effective and free way to boost your mood, relieve stress and better understand your emotions, I thought I’d give this cult wellbeing practice a go.
You see, having a type-A personality, I’m a big fan of pen and paper to-do lists.
I thought that my passion (OK, obsession) for staying organised would be easily translated into journalling. I thought it might be a good way for me to release some stress at the end of the day and keep my reeling thoughts in check. After all, that’s how journalling has been sold to us for so many years now.
Little did I know, it wasn’t straightforward… at all.
Deciding how to journal
We often hear from media outlets, self-care influencers and wellbeing promoters that journalling can be a powerful mental health tool, dragging you up and out of dark holes and stopping you from sinking back down again.
So where do you start? There are several types of journalling to choose from. The most common, or popular, include:
Bullet journalling — a list-based type of journalling using bullet points, dashes and other graphics to create a categorised index of tasks, goals, ideas, notes and more.
Daily — much like conventional diary keeping, daily journalling is a way to keep track and reflect on your day-to-day activities, feelings, thoughts and emotions.
Long-form — whether it’s 1, 4 or 20 pages, long-form journalling allows you to scrawl, ramble and spill your soul out into the pages of a notebook to your heart’s content.
While bullet journalling seemed like the most creative option to me, I was also aware that it sounded time-consuming, and a bit like hard work. The same went for long-form — too much of a time commitment, and even a little intimidating…… OK, a lot intimidating.
So daily journalling it is I guess!
So, what happened?
Some people say they wouldn’t be able to live without journalling, having done it every day for years.
Not me.
When I decided to take daily journalling for a spin, my first attempt lasted all of 2 days — it wasn’t the easiest of habits for me to get into.
I wasn’t sure where to start, what to write, and, to be honest, it just felt like another chore to do at the end of a long day.
As a result, I didn’t exactly quit this attempt, but I simply forgot I was supposed to be doing it.
Not enjoying my failure to practice this self-care technique, I gave it another go. I didn’t wait for Monday to roll around, I started in the middle of the week, determined to journal every evening after work for at least 7 days.
And I did it. (Sort of.)
What I hoped to get out of journalling was creating a space to express my emotions and get things out of my head, giving me space to breathe. But when it came to facing up to the emotions and feelings that had come up throughout the day, it felt like dredging up sludge and debris, like the kind found at the bottom of your local pond.
Not appealing.
I didn’t know what to write, nor did I really want to write at that point in the day. I wanted to chill out, slob on the sofa and catch up on Line of Duty… I’ve still not finished season 6… don’t tell me!
A lot has happened for me in the last 2 years — I was made redundant, worked 7 jobs (thank God for accountants!), held my relationship together through multiple lockdowns, have started a new job remotely and had a close family member diagnosed with an incurable illness. I could go on, but I’ll spare you the dramatics.
So, for me, every day is now a chance to move forward, get on with it and start afresh.
Now, I’m sure any good psychologist would call this a classic case of ostrich syndrome — I’m clearly burying my head in the sand here. But you know what? Sometimes, some things just have to wait — and for me, those things are being emotional and talking (or in this case, writing).
I know, I know, this all sounds wildly unhealthy and I’m sure it’ll come around to bite me in the bum… hard. But if you’re not ready, you’re not ready.
For someone who’s usually very open, journalling felt like an invasion of my own privacy, it felt uncomfortable and cringy. I knew no one was ever going to read whatever I noted down, or in this case, hadn’t, but it just felt icky to me.
It almost felt like going on a first date too soon after a bad breakup, I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to think about, let alone write about, how I was actually feeling in the moment. It was too scary — a black hole, a cliff’s edge, the unknown.
Looking down at the blank page felt like staring into the abyss.
Not knowing where to start, I broke down the task into a very simple structure, consisting of ratings out of 10… as mentioned, I’m a classic type-A.
For example, I started off with categories and rated them like so:
Mood 7/10
Energy 5/10
Exercise 2/10
Food 5/10
Work 7/10
Social 4/10
I chose these categories based on key aspects of my day. During a pandemic, I wasn’t getting up to much other than eating, sleeping and working, which wasn’t exactly helping my cause.
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t find this rating system particularly useful. It was just something to write because I didn’t know what else there was. I was truly suffering from writer’s block.
On some days there was more to say, and by more, I mean I might have written one line — ‘today was frustrating because…’, or ‘I’ve had a good day because…’. You get the idea.
Rather than feeling relief, calm, a sense of order perhaps, I just became increasingly frustrated, and even wound up.
I couldn’t see the point in recording the feelings that had come up and then passed earlier in the day. To me, it felt like exacerbating problems and pouring salt into the wound.
The verdict
Journalling certainly hasn’t been for me this time around, but that’s not to say it won’t be a useful tool for me to call on in the future. After all, ‘timing is everything’, as the old adage goes.
Despite my experience, millions of people swear by journalling. So, if you think it might be more beneficial for you than it was for me, why not give it a go? From my experience, you’ll know straight off the bat whether it’s for you or not.
Want to learn more about health trends and self-care habits? Visit Healthily’s homepage.
This article is intended for informational purposes only. Healthily does not take any responsibility for its medical accuracy. Speak to your doctor before starting any practices described in this article. Never disregard, avoid or delay getting medical advice from your doctor or another qualified healthcare professional because of something in this article.
